


83TT3R TH4N 0K

by cmshaw



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Class Issues, Dream Bubble Sex, F/F, Ghost Sex, Pre-Retcon Continuity, Virginity, Vriska is already dead, Wet & Messy, also present: Terezi's depression and Aradia's joie de vivre, enthusiastic bravado is not the same as enthusiastic consent, fourth character: Vriska's ego, that escalated quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:28:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmshaw/pseuds/cmshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I was just looking for somewhere we could sit!" Aradia says. "But now that you mention it, are you interested? I bet it would be more fun that watching you two avoid a real conversation!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	83TT3R TH4N 0K

**Author's Note:**

  * For [diamond_dog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamond_dog/gifts).



> Dear diamond_dog: I was last-second editing the tags and title as the collection went live, so I hope your gift email was not misleading! Sorry about that.

=> ARADIA: BE HAPPY

Honestly, you really love travelling through the dream bubbles and meeting all of the ghosts! You've always heard the voices of the dead and been able to interact with them a little bit, but it's so much nicer to hug them in the more-or-less-solid flesh. Many of the ghosts were your friends when they were alive and you were dead, but now that you're the one who's alive you realize that you like them much more from this side of mortality.

Vriska, however.

Vriska is the sharp plant stem in your lateral torso.

She's approached you a couple of times about letting bygones be bygones, though, and you've been thinking about it. It's not like there's anywhere you could go where she wouldn't show up causing trouble eventually, so you might as well keep an eye on her.

=> TEREZI: BE SAD

That's easy. You haven't been particularly happy since you stabbed Vriska in the back.

You miss her so god-damned much, and you can't really tell if it's because you liked having her around or if you liked not being the worst fuck-up in the group. Everyone else seems glad she's gone, and given that they all seem to have the basic intelligence to have realized eventually how useless you are, maybe they're right.

Being a Seer of Mind makes it far too easy to see just how many wrong decisions you've made in your life. Sometimes when you lie awake being terrified that going to sleep at the wrong time would put you face to face with Vriska again, you try to put them in order of failure. You end up arguing with yourself over whether murdering her should go at the top or the bottom.

=> VRISKA: IGNORE ALL THIS BULLSHIT EMOTION AND GET ON WITH THE ACTION

Yeah! Emotions are totally bullshit and not something you mess around with at all, ever, especially emotions like "being sad that doomed timeline John broke up with you" or "being something disgustingly almost like happy to see stupid Tavros' stupid face again", those being two examples of emotions which are bullshit and not something you feel.

Anyway, you're just going to explore this dream bubble by yourself for a while.

Or with Aradia, you guess. This chick's been turning up a lot lately. She must know that you're where the party's at.

"Hey," you say cheerfully. "Check out this new dream bubble. I hope this one has some cool ghost's dream this time! Way too many of them are just boring."

"That's not a ghost's memory at all," she tells you, hovering in the air with her big god tier wings. 

You could have wings if you wanted to be a great big show-off like some trolls with their god pajamas and their enormous spiraling horns and their being alive, but you're more subtle than that! Also, that looks just like a memory bubble to you. "That looks just like a memory bubble to me," you say to Aradia.

"I think it's the dream of someone still alive!" she says. "Come on, let's go see who they are."

She buzzes off and you follow more slowly. You're not entirely sure who's still alive, but you don't think it's anyone you want to talk to. Maybe you can just haunt them or something. Ghosts do that all the time so it must be easy, right?

You slip through the surface of the bubble into a dark meteor corridor, which makes sense because where else would the living people have gone? You don't like it here, though. After all of that time in the wide-open existential freefall between floating bubbles, you feel closed in by the meteor walls.

Aradia pops around the corner and grins at you. "Guess who I found!" she says, and grabs you by the hand to pull you along. You follow her in a graceful, dignified manner, but when you brush the grit off of your jeans and look up, it's Terezi.

"Wow, you look awful," you blurt. That's not one of the cutting lines about 8ack-sta88ing that you thought up. You're a little off your game.

You haven't seen any dead Terezis in your wandering yet. You know that in the doomed timelines things went down differently and you were probably great friends again and everything would have been completely fine if you'd talked to them, of course. This Terezi is definitely alive, though, and older than you remember -- she's already got teal coming out in her eyes, in the iris and not just in the bloodshot veins in her sclera.

"Also you have eyes!" you say.

She winces, but still doesn't say anything. Her eyes dart from Aradia to you to Aradia again because she can definitely see both of you and isn't blind anymore.

Aradia beams her big obnoxious grin. "You two haven't had a chance to talk to each other since Terezi murdered Vriska, have you? Oh, I'm glad I'm here for this."

"Are you actually Vriska, this time?" Terezi says at last. Her voice is all raspy, too.

"Of course I'm Vriska!" you say. You've been wearing one of John's old teeshirts with a human slogan on it, but you remember yourself in your own Scorpio teeshirt and slap your chest. "The one and only alpha timeline Serket."

"Objection!" Terezi says, which makes you smile. "The Marquise Spinneret Mindfang could also be considered an authentic Serket."

"Oh wow, you met my ancestor?" You bounce forward. "Was she incredibly cool? Does she know about me?"

"I thought she was cool, but I think I was wrong," Terezi says, slumping. She puts her hand over her eyes. "Ugh, I still don't know what to say to you."

"Man, if this is how you living people party, maybe I'm glad to be dead!" you say. "I'll bet you're sorry about that now."

"Yeah," she says immediately, still with her hand over her eyes.

You blink. "Oh. Well! Yeah, of course you are, but I forgive because I'm so nice like that! You're lucky I'm here now." You snap your fingers, trying to take control of the bubble to get a better memoryscape, but you only end up in a different part of the meteor. "Wherever this is!"

"Oh, this was my section of the meteor," Aradia says.

Terezi sniffs. "I can't smell anything," she says.

"Well, I can't see anything!" you say. "Geez, Aradia, did you even put up a poster or two anywhere?"

"There was a room full of computers that I smashed over there!" she says cheerfully, pointing. "And I put some things that might turn out to be important later in a chest over there." She points the other way.

"Did you not have a respiteblock?" Terezi says. "And why put things in here? None of us can get in to get them, even though now I know where they are."

"I can get them later!" Aradia says. "Remember I'm alive now too. And no, I didn't have a respiteblock; I was a robot."

"Oh, right," Terezi says.

You snap your fingers again, trying to remember your own part of the meteor harder. Nothing happens still.

"I don't think my memories are intersecting with yours right now," Aradia says to you, not sounding very apologetic. "Oh well! I guess you'll have to stay here with me for a while."

"I hope you're not saying that you're an excellent host," Terezi says.

"Really not!" you say. "For one thing, you're a pretty bad host. We can't even sit down unless we want to sit on the floor!"

"I could draw a table and chairs with chalk and we could pretend," Terezi offers.

Aradia laughs. "That sounds like fun! But we can go in here, I think," she says, and leads the way through a door which opens silently for her.

You and Terezi bump shoulders trying to follow her. You both stop, and Terezi looks away. There's a faint teal blush on her cheeks and you suddenly feel awkwardly aware that the body you're dreaming up for yourself is stuck back in your five-and-a-half-sweeps-old scrawny adolescence. You can't figure out where to put your elbows. After a moment Terezi walks through the doorway first. You shake yourself off and hurry after her, which means that you slam into her since she's stopped right in front of the door.

"What?" you say. You wrap your flesh arm (they're both flesh arms again, hey) around Terezi and stand on tiptoe to look over her shoulder, which is bullshit so you tell yourself firmly that you're the same age as Terezi, just like always, until you're the same height again.

Then you realize that Aradia is lounging on a concupiscent platform.

"What the hell?!" you squawk.

"Are you propositioning us? Here? Now?" Terezi asks. She sounds curious and not entirely shocked, and you can't tell if you're more flabbergasted at 'propositioning' or 'us'.

"I was just looking for somewhere we could sit!" Aradia says. "But now that you mention it, are you interested? I bet it would be more fun that watching you two avoid a real conversation!"

"Can ghosts even make slurry?" Terezi asks, all academically curious. She's still a bit teal in the cheeks, though.

"Nope!" Aradia says. "Or yes, but it doesn't have any living existence and it vanishes when you stop thinking about it. You might wake up a bit damp, but only from your own fluids!"

"That's right, I'm dreaming all of this," Terezi says. "Well, I think Vriska's interested."

"What?" you squawk again. "Says who?! I am not!" You grab onto Terezi tighter to keep her between you and the crazy troll on the platform.

"Liar!" proclaims Terezi. (Why the fuck is she so cheerful about this, you wonder.) "I don't believe that those are dice in your pocket." (Oh.)

"Oh," you say. In your rush to be as old as Terezi, you didn't notice that you rushed into developing a set of actual rumblespheres, not just the little ones that you'd had when you died. You'd always known you'd grow up magnificent, of course; you've dreamed it before, but only ever on purpose. You shift your hand a little lower on Terezi's chest and yes, indeed, she also has some rumblespheres now.

Also you just poked yourself in the stomach with your own bulge and you think your jeans are damp.

Which is totally fine! It's not like you haven't masturbated before. And you definitely nearly got to third base with John once before he started making stupid sports jokes and you stopped to laugh at him, and that was with an alien which counts as way more sexual experience than boring old troll-on-troll sex. You can totally show these ladies how it's done.

"Well, if I'm just that irresistible to you, I suppose I could indulge you," you say. You wrap your other arm around Terezi so that you can grope her rumblespheres with both hands. Terezi makes a squeaking noise. "Wow, nice," you tell her, because wow, those are really nice. You kind of heft them a bit, admiringly.

Your head is abruptly yanked up by a hand on your horn and you stare into Aradia's gleeful eyes before she leans in and kisses you on the mouth. With tongue, even, and you hang onto Terezi for dear life. You can feel Aradia's ample chest pressing against the backs of your hands.

When Aradia takes her mouth away, you open your eyes. She winks at you and then, still gripping your horn, grabs one of Terezi's horns in her other hand and holds her still to kiss her. Their faces mash together right in front of you and you shift a little, trying to hold your balance while your hands are trapped between two impressive sets of rumblespheres and Aradia is hanging onto your horn.

Aradia pulls away from Terezi's mouth with a wet smacking noise and damn, her mouth is that totally porntastic purple color that you see in those YouBulge videos of rusts and bluebloods fucking. You don't even realize that you're grinding your hips against Terezi's ass until she stumbles, and then Aradia is fluttering backwards and hauling both of you along by your horns. You and Terezi hang onto each other as you trip over your feet and clamber onto the concupiscent platform. 

You land half on Terezi and half on Aradia, and Aradia is completely naked. Just, right there, completely naked, with one leg shifting underneath you to roll you onto your back. You stare breathlessly up at her rumblespheres and the curly explosion of her hair released from its hood. She lets go of your horn and buries her hand in your hair instead. Your hair is almost as long and curly as hers, and she gets a good handful and tugs gently, making you arch. Her other hand is on your chest now, and Terezi has wiggled out from under you to kneel over you as well.

Terezi's hand lands on your stomach and you jerk in reflexive defense of your abdomen. She shushes you and rubs in circles, which is totally red-pale whiplash and your bulge is going to break the zipper of your jeans any moment now.

Aradia pinches the nipples of your rumblespheres and says teasingly, "Why are you still imagining clothes, anyway?"

"We're not all --" wild exhibitionists, you don't finish saying, because Terezi gets her hand under the waistband of your jeans and catches the tip of your bulge between her fingers. You arch off of Aradia's lap with a small shriek and when you land, you land naked. Aradia's thighs are steaming hot against your back and her fingers are warm and firm on the skin of your chest. 

Terezi is also naked, rumblespheres swinging free, but she's let your bulge go and pressed her cooler hand flat to your stomach to hold you down. "Shoosh," she says again.

"This is not what I was expecting," you gasp, confused into honesty.

Aradia pinches your nipple again and says happily, "I know! Isn't it great when things turn out so well?"

"Everything I do turns out well," you reply. Even you can't quite believe that, so you grudgingly qualify, "Eventually."

Terezi makes a choked noise. When you look over, she's re-imagined her red glasses and her startlingly teal eyes are hidden again. "You are so full of shit," she says, but she sounds fond. "I missed that about you."

You're still trying to come up with a response to that when her hand closes around your bulge and squeezes. You arch again, and this time Aradia lets go of your hair and catches you under the knees. She lifts you higher and swings one of your legs over her head, clipping your heel with one horn. She keeps hold of your other knee and now you're basically hanging upside-down from Aradia's shoulders. You can see Terezi's bulge twisting between her thighs practically in your face as she kneels up to keep her hand on your bulge. You think about trying to grab it, but you can't work out the logistics of shifting your weight off of one elbow; you wind up just staring at it, mouth watering.

Then Aradia's free hand slides down the inside of your thigh and her knuckles rub at the lips of your nook, and you stop trying to do anything except grind your hips in whatever direction means getting more of that. Everything goes topsy-turvy and you think the room might be upside-down and suddenly Aradia says "whoops!" right in your ear and you're flapping frantically to keep yourself in the air.

You've got your god tier wings out and you're hovering above the concupiscent platform, trying to figure out what just happened, when Terezi flops onto her back, giggling. "You somersaulted right over me!" she cackles. "Your big bulge slapped me in the face!"

Aradia stands right up on the platform and gets her arms around your waist, then dangles her whole weight from you. God tier wings don't actually answer to physics, but you still bob in the air from the surprise. Giggling, she says into your stomach, "Come back down here!"

You lower yourself grudgingly back onto the platform. "If you can maybe find a position that's not too much for you to handle this time," you say, and she bares her teeth at you in an enormous grin. She shoves you, hard, and you land on your ass with her weight coming down on top of you. You have a lapful of amorous naked troll lady now and you just grab at her body at random, getting an elbow and her side right above her hip where she's soft and vulnerable.

"How's this?" she says, and grinds her hips down on your bulge.

"88888888 --" you say, maybe, because that feeling can only be the feeling of the tip of your bulge catching on her nook and sliding inward. You throw your head back and pull down on her elbow and hip, trying to go deeper into her. You rock back and forth and then with a heave your bulge finds the right angle to straighten out and press into Aradia's nook almost up to the base.

Aradia groans, a deep rumble you can almost feel against your heated skin, and gasps, "Oh, that feels so good."

"!!!!!!!!" you agree. You start to topple backwards and flap your wings the little you can manage while sitting like this, and then you can feel someone -- Terezi -- pressing up against your back and holding you and Aradia upright.

Aradia has one hand in your hair again. Your hair is great, it's true. "I know what could make it feel even better, though," she says. "You want in, Terezi?"

Over your shoulder, Terezi says breathlessly, "Okay!"

Aradia laughs. "We can make it better than just 0k!" she says, and something buzzes all over you, tightening around you like sopor and then lifting you up into the air. Your eyes pop open and you can see Aradia glowing as she lifts the two of you psychically. She doesn't move you far, but when you drop back down your ass lands on Terezi's abdomen. Terezi grabs your hips to hold you up as Aradia wiggles around.

"What are you doing?" Terezi demands, a question you would also be asking if Aradia's nook weren't still clenching around your bulge. If Aradia would just hold still for a minute you're pretty sure there would be cerulean slurry everywhere, but you can't get a good grip on her.

Then Aradia reaches behind her back and says, "This!"

Terezi digs her claws into you and something presses hard against the base of your bulge. Aradia rocks up and back down, and now there's something -- there's Terezi's bulge also sliding into Aradia's nook alongside your own.

"Hah!" Aradia shouts. Your bulge and Terezi's aren't working together, so you're getting the rougher friction of Terezi's bulge mixed with the smooth slide of Aradia's nook, and Aradia's nook is clenching in irregular spasms as you and Terezi twist unevenly inside of her. Her bulge is practically punching you in the stomach as it lashes back and forth.

That buzzing pressure hits you again, pinning you against Terezi and Terezi, from her abrupt stillness, to the platform surface. "Yes! Fuck!" yells Aradia. She bounces on your and Terezi's bound bodies, nothing free but your bulges and your nooks tightening around nothing, and then you can feel her climaxing on you. She ejaculates in red waves, slurry running down your thighs and onto Terezi, until your bulges slip out of her nook.

The pressure releases you and you gasp for air. Terezi's chest also heaves under you. Your bulges twine frantically together in the air, more red than blue with Aradia's fluids coating you. Aradia is also breathing heavily, but she sits back on her heels and wraps both of her hands around your bulges. Terezi's bulge is rubbing frantically against yours in Aradia's grip, and you're not sure if your own bulge is trying to escape or tie itself in knots around Terezi's bulge or Aradia's hand. Aradia squeezes you together and pulls until it almost hurts, and you feel Terezi's hips buck under yours as you scream through the hardest orgasm of your life and/or death.

Possibly also the wettest, you think, staring down between your legs, although it's hard to tell because Terezi is barely a shade lighter than you.

"Oh my gog," Terezi moans. "Okay, Vriska, move your ass now."

She shoves you to the side, and you belly-flop onto the platform. Your bulge smacks down too and you hold your legs apart, feeling wrung out and tender.

"That was fantastic!" Aradia says brightly. "Wow. Sex is so great. Doesn't it make you feel so alive?"

"Rude," Terezi says in a weak groan. "Be a little more sensitive to the dead among us."

You lift both hands off of the platform to flip them both off at once. Aradia is sitting cross-legged next to you with dark red splashed all over her thighs and blue painted down her arms past the elbows. Smears of hot porno purple highlight her skin where they mix. The lips of her nook are still puffy, which you can see because the way she's sitting is holding them open practically in your face.

You turn your head towards Terezi. She's still on her back and purple from rumblespheres to ankles. "You look like a porn star," you tell her.

"I feel like a porn star," Terezi says. "Oh my gog."

You snort. "Do I need to roll over there and shoosh you?"

Terezi gives a startled laugh. "How can you feel pale at a time like this?"

"It's not concupiscent if no one knows where the pail went," you sing-song.

Terezi and Aradia burst into giggles. You buff your claws smugly.

Aradia winks at you and buffs her own claws even more smugly. "Am I the best auspistice or what?" she says.

You're totally about to sit up and tell her why that's bullshit, but a clanking noise starts up in the hallway. "What's that?" Terezi says, tensing.

"You're waking up, I think," Aradia says.

"Oh," Terezi says sadly.

You push yourself up onto your hands and knees, but she's gone before you can do anything about it. "How do I follow her?" you demand of Aradia.

"You can't," Aradia says. "But I'm sure you'll find her again."

You frown. Chasing after someone still alive -- not really your style. No, you decide, you'll just have to do something big and flashy to get her to come find you. That's what you were going to do anyway, after all. You're a big deal in these dream bubbles. You've got a lot going on.

Time to show these living conciliatory assholes that Vriska Serket is forever the 8est!

=> TEREZI: BE SAD

You wake up in a sad little pile of miscellaneous crap back on the meteor. Some of it is teal now, but none of it is cerulean or rust or bright purple. Some of it's indigo, but you shove those bits away from you violently and get up to scourgify yourself.

=> ARADIA: BE HAPPY

Sure! Nothing like a great orgasm to perk you right up. Being alive is awesome. You wish the other alive people appreciated it more, but your job is looking after the dead ones right now. You can't follow Terezi back to the meteor yet either, after all.

You are definitely going to be looking in on Vriska more often after this, though. As problems go, you've had worse -- and lived to tell the tale!


End file.
